This was the first full day of not having Eddie around.  Eddie was put to sleep yesterday. He was having a lot of pain and could hardly walk.  He had back problems in the past, but this was much more severe.  He had trouble walking up and down the stairs and couldn’t jump up anymore.  He just wasn’t himself.  This has been roughest on Bill because he was the one that was there with Eddie.  I wish that I would have been there, too.  I think that I have been preparing myself for this day for a long time.  It sounds kind of morbid, but Eddie just wasn’t the same dog.  He was more prone to sleep all day and he hardly got up to get a bit of food that might have fallen on the floor.  Eddie was a quirky dog.  When we lived in New Jersey, he would go into the hallway at a certain time every night and chase himself. That’s the best way I can describe it.  He would not chase his tail, but something else.  Eddie was also a very loving dog.  There were many times that he drove me crazy and I got really upset (probably too upset) when he would have an accident on the floor, but despite being yelled at he would still follow me everywhere and put his head under my hand so I would pet him.  When Bill was gone a lot Eddie was my companion.  He was the one that I came home to.  He was always excited to see me and he would wag his tail.  He was my comforter.  Eddie always used to follow me usually to let me know he needed out, but also just to be in the same room.  While I was folding clothes today, I thought I saw him in the hallway.  Of course, I didn’t but I was really hoping he was there.  Billy is still too young to understand and he will ask where is Eddie.  Yesterday when Bill came home, Billy said, “where’s Eddie?”. We tried to explain to him that he’s up in heaven with Heavenly Father after all there must be a place for animals since we are all God’s creatures.  I told Billy that Eddie is in heaven and he said no he can’t be, he’s our favorite dog.  We had him almost the entire time we have been married.  He was our kid.  I know it must have been hard for him when Billy was born and then Baden, but he seemed to handle it in stride.  He was always gentle with Billy and when he didn’t want play he would go and lay down in his bed.  I know Eddie is now free from the pain that wracked his body.  He is able to run and play and chase himself again.  🙂   It will take some time to get over him and I don’t know that we ever will. After all,  he was  our favorite dog.